Spilling my heart out.

Been a while.

It's been a real while since the last time I write.

So forgive me if this is going to be boring, 'cause I assure you this writing will be quite long.

Just want to spill a little piece of my mind and heart to maybe ease myself.

Or maybe help someone, if this page even opened by anyone.

Or maybe, just maybe, it will even help myself.

So, here goes. a little confession. Though I might not seem like it, especially to those who are close to me, I am actually the most insecure person I know.

But not in a way most people feel. I genuinely and honestly don't care about what people think or say about me.

I really could care less about people's judgment, especially those who are not close to me.

And I believe those who I keep close to me, love me for the way I am. And I am highly confident about it, though may seem to be in contradiction with my previous statement.

Because eventually, what really matters to me is my own judgment.

No one, not in my almost 29 years of life, has ever set a higher standard than the one I set to myself.

I AM THE HARSHEST JUDGE OF MY SELF.

I don't like my general physical appearance.

My face is not attractive enough.
My body shape is not ideal.

Characteristically, I am not cute nor adorable,

or even slightly unique to stand out in a crowd.

I am not kind enough,
though I firmly believe in spreading kindness,
I know there's hatred inside.

I can't understand how someone could ever like me or even love me, for I myself don't feel so.

But I am also constantly reminded about the wonderful support system I have:

BESTFRIENDS,
Who accepts me for who I am.
Who understands my cold treatment and harsh words are my forms of affection.
Who sticks with me despite it all.

A LOVER,
Who loves me deeply with all his might.
Who adores me like I'm the most beautiful being in the universe.
Who believes in all my potentials even when I don't see it.
Who thinks of me as the sun of his sky.

And I do believe in every good thing they said.

I do believe in every feeling they have for me.

I really do believe that they really believe in whatever they think of me.

And I will always be eternally grateful for each of them.

But the problem never was how I feel about what people might say or think about me.

The problem was my own thinking.

I DON'T THINK I AM GOOD ENOUGH.

And it has always been a conflict in my head because, on the other hand, I am an overconfident woman.
There are things about me I'm highly proud of, things I will never let go.

And nothing people can say or do will make me change my mind.

No labels, names, assumptions or judgments from people can make me question myself.

Only I, myself, is able to do that.

I know most people will think the other way around: be happy and content with yourself, and nothing people say will make you feel bad about yourself.

Well, people can't do that to me, despite me not liking myself enough.

I sometimes think I know I am good enough for some, but still not good enough for me.

It has always been a daily struggle for me, to really accept myself.

It's a daily effort to try to see myself as my loved ones see me.

It's a hard and long battle to make me love myself.

Because I know that in the end, the view that matters the most is our own view.

The feeling that matters the most is our feelings.

The thought that impacts us the most is our own.

And happiness comes from within ourselves, not from anybody else.

So I've decided to try harder to accept myself for who I am.

To believe in the potentials I know I have.

To love myself like I have never loved anyone before.

I know it will not be easy, and only God knows how long it will take.
But I will never give up.
I would rather die trying to love being me than forever resent being born this way.

And I will hold my bestfriends tighter, my lover closer,
and remind myself that I am so loved by them.
One day, I will prove to myself that I am worthy of their love.
One day, I will prove to myself that I am worthy of self-praise.
One day, I will love myself fully without an ounce of doubt.

And I hope one day, whoever out there reading this and feels insecure about themselves, will also be able to accept ourselves for who we are.

Yang Tak Bernama

Kita memang sepasang kekasih.

Tapi kita tidak 'pacaran', seperti banyak tebakan orang. Kita menolak untuk dibilang 'pacaran'  sebuah status yang dibuat masyarakat untuk sepasang insan manusia yang saling menyayangi dan memutuskan untuk saling berbagi.

Memang, nyatanya kita sedang saling berbagi...berbagi sedikit demi sedikit waktu yang ada di hidup kita, berbagi kisah dan menjalin cerita bersama, berjalan berdampingan, walau dalam jalur yang berbeda.

Ya, kita memang sepasang kekasih..

Kenapa kita begitu keras menolak dikatakan 'pacaran'?

Kamu dengan alasanmu, aku dengan alasanku.

Aku yang ingin belajar memberi, tanpa sedikitpun meminta.

Bahkan, tanpa sedikitpun berharap.

Aku yang sedang mempelajari, apa sesungguhnya 'cinta tanpa karena'. 'Pacar' ku atau bukan, ketika aku mencintamu, aku tak butuh alasan.. dan aku tak butuh alasan juga untuk tetap mencintamu dan mencurahkan segala kasih sayang ini.

Aku tak butuh alasan. Dan tak ingin pula alasan itu muncul tanpa disengaja.

Karena menurut pengalamanku yang 'berpacaran' bertahun-tahun sebelum kita bersama, status 'pacar' itu justru memunculkan terlalu banyak alasan untuk memberi, dan mengharapkan timbal-balik.

Aku tak mau seperti itu (lagi)..

Aku mau tulus menyayangimu, tak peduli status kita, bahkan aku akan tetap menyayangimu meski kamu anggap aku tak ada.

Dan kamu tak ingin terikat. Sama seperti aku yang tak mau diikat.

Kita tak ingin diatur bagaimana cara kita saling menyayangi.

Ada yang bilang kita ini takut komitmen.. tapi mereka tidak tahu, kita pun saat ini masing-masing sedang menjalani sebuah komitmen.

Kamu dengan komitmenmu dengan rasamu,

dan aku dengan komitmenku dengan rasaku..

Kita akhirnya saling mengikat dengan satu yang begitu kita senangi, kebebasan.

Aku bebas menyayangimu dengan caraku.

Kamu pun bebas menyayangiku dengan caramu.

Berjalan ke arah yang sama, akhirnya kita sepakat untuk berjalan berdampingan, meski kita tetap berada di jalur yang berbeda.

Dan meski kita tak tahu dimana persimpangan yang akan memisahkan kita..

Kita memang sepasang kekasih. Kita adalah life partner. Pasangan hidup. Karena saat ini, detik ini di hidupku, kamu menemaniku. Dan saat ini, detik ini, aku pun mengisi hidupmu.

Tapi kita tidak 'pacaran'. Kita menolak disebut 'pacaran'.

Lalu apa namanya hubungan ini?

Ah, menurutku manusia belum sanggup berikan hubungan ini nama...apa perlunya pula sebuah nama?

Toh kita menikmati menjalaninya.

Toh kita tetap saling mencinta.

Dan toh, kesepakatan itu tetap kekal detik ini...

(Bandung, 17 Mei 2013)

Karena Kekekalan Hanya Milik Detik Ini

Semakin hari, semakin banyak yang saya alami, semakin banyak yang saya pelajari, saya mulai memahami betapa di dunia ini tiada yang pasti. Mungkin beberapa penganut agama atau kepercayaan apapun yang kuat akan membantahnya, dan mengatakan bahwa beberapa hal telah dengan pasti tertulis oleh Tuhan dalam suratan hidup manusia, dan pasti terjadi. Disini saya tidak akan menyalahkan pendapat orang lain dan membenarkan pendapat saya, saya hanya ingin mengatakan, tidak demikian yang saya percayai...

Hari demi hari, saya sedikit demi sedikit belajar untuk semakin menghargai waktu. Saya belajar untuk menjalani hidup saya sebaik mungkin, seakan tidak ada esok hari. Bukan berarti saya lalu boleh sesuka hati melakukan yang saya mau tanpa memperdulikan orang - orang di sekitar saya terutama orang - orang yang saya sayangi, tapi justru saya harus belajar lebih menghargai mereka, menyayangi mereka segenap hati, menjaga mereka, dan selalu berusaha membagi kasih sayang saya agar mereka tahu betapa mereka sangat disayangi. Karena belum tentu ada esok hari, yang akan mempersilahkan saya melakukan apa yang belum sempat atau belum mau saya lakukan hari ini.

Tak ada jaminan akan esok hari tiba untuk saya, atau orang - orang yang saya sayangi. Tak ada jaminan pula rasa sayang saya untuk mereka ini masih bersisa esok nanti. Jadi sebelum waktu mengkhianati, sebelum rasa hilang tak berbekas di hati, saya ingin mencurahkan segalanya saat ini, detik ini. Detik yang kusebut kekal ini. Ini mungkin keegoisan terbesar saya..

Begitu banyak hal yang sangat indah yang terjadi setiap harinya di dalam hidup saya. Kecil, besar, bukan sesuatu yang penting. Bila itu indah, ya tetap indah. Memang, terkadang saking indahnya, saya seakan tidak mau melepaskan hal tersebut.. saya ingin terus mengalaminya, menjalaninya, hanyut di dalamnya. Lalu saya teringat, hanyut dalam kenangan? Berarti saya tak punya pegangan? Bagaimana kalau nanti saya lelah terapung-apung dalam kenangan yang telah lalu, kemana saya harus menyelamatkan diri? Saya pun masih sering menyadarkan diri, berteriak dalam kepala yang semrawut ini, "Hey, jangan larut pada apa yang pasti lalu! Bahkan yang saat ini merupakan yang terindah, belum tentu akan selamanya menjadi yang paling. Akan ada satu titik dimana mau tak mau predikat itu harus kau lepas! Yah, kecuali kau mati di detik berikutnya.."

Ya, yang saat ini adalah yang 'ter-' belum tentu akan menjadi yang 'ter-' lagi di hari berikutnya, jam berikutnya, bahkan mungkin detik berikutnya. Kenangan, memang abadi, disaat ia sedang terjadi, di detik yang kusebut kekal ini. Tapi... detik berikutnya akan tiba. Menit pun berlalu. Dan kenangan akan menjadi kenangan.

Dari berbagai hal yang saya ocehkan sesuka hati diatas, saya hanya berusaha mengambil kesimpulan, lakukan apa yang kamu mau dan bisa lakukan hari ini, saat ini, jangan sampai menyesal di keesokan hari yang bahkan belum tentu datang. Dan tiap kenangan, tiap kejadian, baik indah maupun buruknya, nikmatilah. Karena tanpa ada yang buruk itu, kita tak akan tahu rasanya indah. Dan tanpa ada yang indah, kita tak akan tahu ada cahaya di setiap ujung lorong. Hargai tiap moment, karena mereka hanya kekal ketika terjadinya. Hargai yang telah menjadi kenangan, karena mereka telah menuntun kita untuk berada di tempat kita sekarang...

EGO

Do you know what thing that most likely to break a relationship?
Your EGO.
Everyone has their own pride, but when you're in a relationship, pride will only breaks your lover's heart, and alas, breaks your relationship.

Why?
Because with your big ego, you'd always want to win, win in every situation, every argument.
With your big ego, you'd never listen to your lover, just because you don't wanna feel like s/he's bossing you around, like you're his/her b*tch (pardon my language).
You don't want people to say that you're whipped.

So most of the time, you ignore your lover's words. Even most of the time what s/he said is for your own good, for your own safety, for your own happiness, and s/he said it because s/he cares..
But you just don't wanna listen.
You just listen to your big stupid ego.

By not listening, most of the times, you do what you're not suppose to, even though your lover has told you what those things would do to you.
And because you don't wanna listen, you're eager to do it, but you don't wanna argue with your lover, so you lie.
Covering your track. But in the end, s/he finds out anyway..

So it breaks your lover's heart.
But you still don't wanna listen, and you're not sorry, because in your ego's point of view, you've done nothing wrong, even though in your heart, you know s/he's right..

So you argue, argue, and argue.
Until s/he feels guilty because you make them think they're controlling you. Or until they're tired arguing with you, and then they let you go..

Well, ego will always win. I guarantee that.
But it'll never end well.
So the question is, will you let your ego controls you, or let your right mind speak?

Because when you're really in love, winning or losing doesn't matter at all..
What matters is how you show your love, keep it that way, and how to make your beloved happy.

Living in The Dream / Living The Dream

Some people think that those two sentences have the same meaning.
But nu-uh, it's not for me. Those two sentences have a very different meaning, it's the opposite of each other. Why? Let me explain it in easy way.

* Living in The Dream *

Even it sounds like fun, it's actually not at all.
"Living in the dream" means you waste all day in your whole life dreaming about something, without even dare to take just one little step to make it comes true. You're dreaming and dreaming, even the impossible things, but you have no will to make it possible. Then you just living your life with regrets, empty filling, and realizing something's missing in your life but never know what.

After a long time you'll be numb, can't feel a thing.
You smile but you can't laugh out loud. You're sad but you can't cry. You're hurt but you can't scream. A life you have is just a black and white straight path you walk on without any light.

That's the life most of us are living now..

*Living the dream*

This is the life I'm trying to live in.
This is the life everyone's been looking for.
Living the dream, make it happens by trying to make your dreams come true. Start it by take one little step forward and feel the encourage that comes afterward.

Live with no regrets or "if only" even thought you've failed, because no matter how you've tried and enjoying it. Living a life where there's no word "stop" or "give up". Living a life spontaneusly, not knowing what coming but prepare yourself anyway anyhow.

Living a life where there are rainbow, sunrise, moonlight and falling star. Living your life with full happiness, no matter how broke you are. Living your life with non-stop imagination to make it much more colorful.
Living a fulfilled life.
It's not a hard or impossible as it sounds.. Just believe there's nothing impossible in this world if we just have the will to tak one step forward to catch our dreams. Life will guide you anyway.

So from now on let's get yourself together and believe ini you ability.
Let's living our dream.

(Living The Dream on Tumblr)

Places in Europe (hopefully) I'll visit ❤

Lately, my dream about traveling all around Europe is popping in my head all the time.
It made me sure to really do it one day. And I promise my self I will. Here is a list of places I want to visit in Europe. I'll bet when you see some pictures below, I'm gonna hear some "Aww.." "Wow" and some sighs, haha. Enjoy :)

First of all, I'd like to go to Ireland!

1. Dingle (Length of stay: 10 days) - I fell in love with this city since I watched "Leap Year". A great movie sets in a great city. Beautiful, quiet, and have a cliff near the beach.

2. Dublin (Length of stay: 5 days) - When you come to a country, you definitely need to visit its capital. Dublin is a great city, but for me who planning to backpack around Europe, staying in Dublin too long would be just a waste of money :(

Now let's fly out of this beautiful country!

Next stop, would be Spain

3. Barcelona. (Length of stay: 7 days) - Of course, I will visit Madrid, maybe for about 3 days, but there's not much to see. So I'll just give you the beauty of Barca! One thing i definitely gonna do there is watch Barcelona FC's game live! And it has a beautiful beach too ❤

Amazing isn't it? But there are so much more beautiful places I love. Let's pack your bags and leave!

Third stop, The United Kingdom, England

4.  London (Length of stay: 5 days) - Probably just gonna visit Buckingham Palace and maybe reenact some FRIENDS scenes.

5. Liverpool (Length of stay: 7 days) - I really really wanna visit this city, because I'm a big fan of Liverpool FC, and I wish to see a game in Anfield. You'll never walk alone, mate!

6. Alpen (Length of stay: 14 days) - Such a beauty of nature, where mountains lined up and covered with snows and meadows rapped its feet. That's Alpen, baby! I always love to be on a mountain, I'm excited to see snow, and I love meadows! Alpen is a perfect place for me..

Football, snow, meadows, I found all that in England. And don't forget the Royal feeling just being in London and see the elegance of Buckingham palace. But enough about England. There's so much more place to go :)

Welcome to Germany

7. Berlin  (Length of stay: 5 days) - Berlin, such a big beautiful town, yet I found it's very cheap to live there even thou it's a big city..

8. Gelsenkirchen  (Length of stay: 3 days) - I don't know much about this city, I just know it because it's the city of Schalke 04 FC, haha. But it seems peaceful :) 

Okay let's get away from Germany. Now I'm gonna take you to a better place..

Austria, here I come !

9.  Vienna (Length of stay: 5 days) - I heard it's so wonderful out there. And it's gonna be amazing if I go there in winter :) It looks like all the city's been painted white~

10.  Zurich (Length of stay: 5 days) - Out of Austria, into Switzerland, where the best chocolate made. Just like what I love from Alpen and Vienna, it's the snow I'm looking for.

Enough for the snow. Now I need a little bit of romance in the air. We're in Europe anyway, aren't we? And I bet you know where to find love in Europe ❤

The country where sexiest men live, Italy

11. Rome (Length of stay: 5 days) -  Why Rome? For those who've watched 'Eat, Pray, Love' may not gonna ask this. But it is the most romantic city in Italy! And the pizza, arrrgh, I really want to taste their pizza. But maybe I'm gonna get some from Napoli. Anyway, Rome has a few romantic fountains with different stories. My favorite is the Fountain of Love. They say that if you throw a coin inside the fountain you'll meet you're one true love :) The movie 'When in Rome' used that story as inspiration. Oh yeah, don't forget their amazing Colosseum!

 

(When in Rome's scene)

12. Venice (Length of stay: 7 days) -  Ah well, do I even need to explain why Venice is such a romantic city??

13. Milan (Length of stay: 10 days) - I can't say how much I LOOOVEEE this city! I'm a true AC Milan's fans, a Rossoneri since I was just about 11 years old. And damn right I'm gonna be inside the San Siro stadium and watch them play! FORZA MILAN :)

I guess too much romance won't be good for me who'll be traveling alone. So let's get into my 'real' things, HISTORY! We're gonna visit some historical cities.

Romania, mysterious yet beautiful.

14. Transylvania (Length of stay: 15 days) - I want to visit this amazing country since I read a book about Vlad Tepes III, or known as Vlad Dracula. He's the source of every vampire's stories. But no, he's not a vampire. He was just a very very cruel Prince of Wallachia, Romania, who loved to torture his enemies to death and ate between their blood. Scary? Amazing to me !

We're still gonna visiting Historical Places, but not gonna be as scary as Vlad's history (eventhou I don't know yet about these upcoming cities' histories...), so let's take the train and leave!

Ukraine

15. Kamianets-Poldisky (Length of stay: 5 days) - I found this castle on Google, and I fell in love right away!

16. Khotyn Fortress (Length of stay: 3 days) -  Again, thank God for Google :)

And now, we're gonna visit the most romantic country in Europe, my favorite, my dream since I was a little girl, and gonna be the last place I'll visit on my Europe tour... Ready?

Bonjour, France ❤

17. Paris (Length of stay: 5 days) - City of Love. Heart of fashion world.

18. Provence (Length of stay: 20 days) - Last but the best, my favorite of all. A small city in South France. Such a beautiful city with lavender fields, sunflower fields and vineyards all over the city. Really really pretty. I once wrote about Provence before, here >> tumblr: provence , so I'm just gonna reminding you all a bit :)

Well, I guess that's all. Apparently, it needs 139 days to visit all of these cities and enjoy them. When I have enough money, time, and courage, I'm gonna do this!
Thanks for reading my fantasy, hopefully, one day it will come true :) By the way, what's your dream? Have you written about it? Who knows it will help you reach it :) 

Live your life to the fullest, you only live once anyway

(Europe on Tumblr)

Reaching A Dream

People have definitely different kinds of dreams. Sometimes a simple one, sometimes the one which looks impossible to reach.

Actually, “impossible” is just a matter of how we see things.

Yes, everything is possible. It’s just a matter of how wee see things.
When you look through and far to the future, everything is possible. But when you look to the present, and what’s in front of you, almost everything is impossible. That’s a problem almost everyone has when they’re trying to reach their dreams, a simple problem which almost everyone never realized.

When you have a dream, and have the will to reach it no matter what, look through at the future! If you just stay still, just whining about you current problems, how difficult your life is, you’ll get nowhere. You’ll just stuck with your current life, no future.

What’s in front of us now has nothing to do with your future. We make our own future.
Don’t be afraid to look forward, leave your problems behind, and imagine what kind of life you want to have. Nothing’s gonna stand between you and your future, except your own mind. What in front of you now is just a wall between you and your dreams.

Because by seeing your problems and what you’re having now will only pop questions which will break your spirit to catch your dreams, such as “What if … ?” “If … how could I … ?” and then doubts will appear, and then finally you’ll give up your dreams. If you look far to the future, imagining how your life could be if you reached your dreams, nothing would stand in your way. You’ll just excited to make your dreams come true and live a life you always wanted.

Our current problems should only be “now” problems. We have to fix it “now”. Not latter. And shouldn’t be our future problems.Anything else you think could be a problem in your future should be thrown away, and just believe, the only thing will stand in your way to catch your dreams is YOU.

When you have doubts, just think positive, and believe you can do anything. Regrets do come late, so do what you want to do and don’t let regrets come. It’s just a matter of how we think.

So from now on, starts your dream by listing it, imagining it, and find ways to get it. Throw away your doubts, believe in yourself, and start to look far to the future.

To turn the spirit switch on, let me start with my dream list :)

• Study abroad - First Destination : Berlin, Germany 
• Be an Event Organizer / Wedding Organizer
• Travelling around the world
• Marry the man of my dream : my current boyfriend ♥
• Having my wedding dream : Garden Party near beach with white theme and colorful tulips and roses all around

So now start making your list !
Close your eyes, and imagine how your life would be by reaching all of it.

(reaching-a-dream on Tumblr)

Sedikit romansa tidak akan menyakitkan

Romansa, atau dalam bahasa Inggris romance.

Biasa kita kaitkan dengan pernyataan cinta dan perasaan. Tapi sesungguhnya, apakah romansa itu?

Tidak, bukan saya bermaksud mengkuliahi. Tidak juga saya bermaksud sok pintar. Penjelasan dibawah ini hanyalah wujud dari bertumpuknya pikiran didalam otak saya yang berteriak minta keluar. Maka saya keluarkanlah.

Romansa, menurut saya, tidak hanya ada di dalam hubungan sepasang kekasih. Kita pun dapat menemukan romansa antar para sahabat, anggota keluarga, maupun romansa dengan binatang peliharaan.

Romansa, sekali lagi menurut saya, memang tentang cinta. Namun, hakekat cinta itu pun luas bukan? Cinta terhadap Tuhan, cinta terhadap alam, cinta terhadap sesama, cinta terhadap keluarga, cinta terhadap teman, dan cinta terhadap satu orang spesial yang diciptakan khusus untuk menemani sisa hidup seseorang.

Romansa yang sering dikaitkan dengan hubungan sepasang kekasih, menurut saya, justru tidak sepenuhnya benar. Sepasang kekasih tidak membutuhkan romansa untuk mempertahankan cinta mereka. Sepasang kekasih tidak butuh romansa sebagai alasan pemersatu mereka. Mereka sudah memiliki cinta, rasa percaya, dan kepedulian antar satu sama lain untuk tetap bersama.

Lalu, romansa itu apa?

Di kepala saya, kata yang muncul hanyalah satu "kegombalan". Mungkin bukan untuk romansa antar teman atau keluarga, tapi diantara hubungan sepasang kekasih.

Karena nyatanya, romansa digunakan untuk menarik perhatian lawan jenis, ketika perbedaan tidak dapat disatukan namun kehendak memaksa.
Romansa digunakan untuk mengambil kepercayaan lawan jenis ketika kejujuran tidak mungkin diungkapkan.
Romansa digunakan untuk menyenangkan hati pasangan ketika niat tersebut sebetulnya telah lenyap dalam hati.
Romansa itu digunakan, ketika nafsu sudah tak tertahan lagi.
Ya, menurut saya, romansa antar sepasang kekasih hanyalah bentuk sebuah kebohongan.

Namun, bukan berarti romansa itu harus hilang.
Tapi gunakanlah romansa itu dengan kejujuran.
Munculkanlah romansa itu dengan ketulusan.
Karena sesungguhnya, romansa itu pun penting. Sedikit romansa dalam hidupmu tidak akan menyakitkan, kawan. Tak perlu kau menjadi orang lain dalam mewujudkan romansa, tapi buatlah romansa itu sebagai penunjukkan jati dirimu.
Munculkanlah romansa sebagai perwujudan perasaan mu yang nyata.

 (Romance on Tumblr)

Crossroad Demons : Do you believe in the Devil?

First, I want to explain about the whole Crossroad Demon's deal.
It is well known that if you go to a crossroad, and summoning a demon there, one demon will appear and offering you to make a deal. He will grant one of your wishes in exchange for your soul, which will be drag to Hell by his hellhound after a few years (some say after 10 years).

Becoming a 'Supernatural TV Series' fan has opened my mind wider. After re-running for the third time, I realized in Season 2 episode 8, "Crossroad Blues", they mentioned Robert Johnson (click for detail), the best blues man ever lived that supposedly made a deal with the Demon to become one.
 
So, I googled him.
And voila, I found this:

According to legend, as a young man living on a plantation in rural Mississippi, Robert Johnson was branded with a burning desire to become a great blues musician. He was "instructed" to take his guitar to a crossroad near Dockery Plantation at midnight. There he was met by a large black man (the Devil) who took the guitar and tuned it. The "Devil" played a few songs and then returned the guitar to Johnson, giving him mastery of the instrument. This was in effect, a deal with the Devil mirroring the legend of Faust. In exchange for his soul, Robert Johnson was able to create the blues for which he became famous.

So I thought, 'Huh, what a rumor'. But then again, I found other interesting facts.

1. " Around 1929 (Johnson was 18), the noted blues musician Son House moved to Robinsonville where his musical partner lived. Late in life, House remembered Johnson as a 'little boy' who was a competent harmonica player but an embarrassingly bad guitarist.
2. Johnson left Robinsonville for the area around Martinsville, close to his birthplace Hazlehurst. Here he perfected the guitar style of Son House and learned other styles from Isaiah "Ike" Zimmerman. Ike Zimmerman was rumoured to have learned supernaturally to play guitar by visiting graveyards at midnight.
When Johnson next appeared in Robinsonville, he had seemed to have acquired a miraculous guitar technique.

 So it kept me thinking, how in the world, a recently bad guitar player turned to an amazing one in a short time? I mean, no matter how hard you learn to play guitar, without natural talent, it needs years to turn you to a great guitar player, right?

Again, i dug and dug. Apparently, I missed one important part about Johnson's death. He died at the age 27.

I remembered clearly how legends like Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Brian Jones (Rolling Stones), etc. all died at the age of 27. And how most of them became legends after they died. What's the mystery of age 27?

And what bugs me most is how most of their deaths are such mysteries. Johnson died of strychnine poisoning, after 3 days suffering. But in his biography, Tom Graves states that strychnine has such a distinctive odor and taste that it cannot be disguised, even in strong liquor. He also claims that a significant amount of strychnine would have to be consumed in one sitting to be fatal, and that death from the poison would occur within hours, not days. So? His death is still a mystery.

And for all the other legends, there are mysteries behind their death as well. Like Cobain, who in the world 100% sure he killed himself? Lots and lots of presumption of how he was killed by Courtney Love or anyone else.


And above it all, all those legends who died ad the age 27 has been well-known as the members of 27 Club. Not made by them, but made for them, who died at a very young age.
So I thought, could this whole Demon's deal thing be real? I mean, they all had amazing talents, but died on their way of becoming a legend. And most of them became legends after they died..

Oh well, if we believe in God and Angels, shouldn't we believe in the Devil too?

Don't mean to brainwashing anybody here, just trying to share some interesting almost-facts and share what's on my mind. Hopefully entertaining !